Week 2: Already Off Track

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Week 2, what can I say. Yes I lost a bit of weight (2.2 pounds/1kg) but I definitely, did not do what I could. I was a bit too generous with myself. It is a constant struggle of not eating that cake, croissant or ice cream that is right in front of me. I can’t put myself in an environment where there is no cake, ice cream or what have you. At work they have it, my husband has it and honestly, even if I do not have anything at home, I just go to the local store and get whatever I want. There is no self control at this point. I am a bit furious with myself, to say the least.

I wish there was a magic wand where I did not crave sugary and fatty things. No hypnosis is not for me, I do not take drugs in any way (I even have declined happy pills for my depression) so it is all based on will-power and being honest and open.

Sometimes when I read about peoples opinions about overweight people (you know what kind of comments I am talking about, you might have read them yourself, written them yourself or tried defending obese/overweight people in the comments section) and how we should simply just stop eating. It puts me in a unique position to think about people that have culture, habits and so forth so deeply ingrained in them that things do not “simply” change because you say so and this is even contingent on the fact that people want to change. It makes me wonder if we as a species are doomed?

But enough of the self pity… I am back on the horse and I am determined to go to the gym 3 times this week and attend the Bryant Park free yoga Thursday evening. So stay tuned for more on that front.. Should be hilarious pictures. I am so not a yoga person but I need to switch it up once and a while and also, it is all about the adventure. Who would not want to try yoga with 500 other people in a beautiful green park in the middle of New York? It is full on Sex and The City!

See you soon, feel free to join me for some yoga fun on Thursday!

XOXO

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Week 1: Butterflies

My first week, my first post. I have butterflies. This is what is going to set the tone for my blog, it is now that I commit for the first time in my life, it is now that I truly break away from what my parents and I taught myself growing up.

I know, I will make mistakes, even though I know it is natural and OK, it still freaks me out. So much is at stake. Years of my lift is at stake at this point and I have already done damage to my body. I can no longer ignore the fact that I am obese. I am struggling with high blood pressure, high cholesterol (not just due to being overweight but family history) and an addiction. I am addicted to sugar, fat… food. I think about my next fix as soon as I have finished my first. When I was younger, I was the one who would barely eat, throw up if I did eat because I was feeling so disgusting. I was anorexic and bulimic. Now, I eat, feel disgusted with myself and eat some more because that moment when I eat, I do not think about anything but what I am eating. It is a vicious circle. I have gone to therapy and I have been part of Weight Watchers, I have wanted to get friends to lose weight with me. I have tried it all… except for 1 thing. I have never tried being honest. This is my pledge. I will be as honest as I can be with everything that I write, as open about who I am, what I eat, how much I exercise. I have nothing to loose at this point.

It is a bit scary as I have always hidden my eating habits. Not even my husband knows how much I at times can eat in one sitting. Every time I see a TV Show or read a blog, I feel people change their lives drastically and honestly, how many of us has that kind of freedom or the desire to change our lives where fitness becomes the main focus of our lives? Not me. I want to go out and have fun, I want to explore, I want to have adventures. Which is why I named my blog A Weightloss Adventure.

I want my cookie and I want to have fun while eating it but I also want to be healthy. That is what my blog is about. Having fun, allowing some of the foods that I love while still striving for a healthy and normal body.

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I do believe if you need to lose weight, you need a goal. My overall goal is to loose 100lb (45kg) but I want to take it in chunks and I want to take my time. If I want my cookie as well, I need to arm myself with patience.

So with that said, I believe it is time to walk through my first week. My status report.

I started my first week with a weight of 242.2lb (109.9kg). Measurements were 50″ around my hips, 42″ around my waist, 47″ around my bust and 17″ around my arms. I am 5′ 5″ so you can calculate that I am in the obese category.

I think I carry myself well. I dress well. Which means that I have been able to hide just how overweight I really am. So there it is. The image proving my weight.

It has not been an easy week and I have definitely had my fair share of things I should not have eaten but I have been able to keep my overeating to a minimum and I look forward to seeing what the scale says tomorrow morning.

See you tomorrow!

 

 

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