This Is The Tough Part

Going through the 4th week is usually my tough time. The time, where I simply want to give up. Drop out of the gym and not count every single calorie.

And true enough. It has been a tough week.  I have counted my calories, I have gone to the gym but boy, have I not wanted to. At this point I am just trying to distract myself from giving up. I am constantly trying to tell myself, I will get past these next couple of weeks.

It is a constant battle where I keep trying to rationalize my bad choices but I know they are simply excuses. Excuses, excuses, excuses. I have lots of them but none of them are really okay.

If I eat this ice cream I can just skip dinner. If I eat this chocolate, I could just eat a little less for dinner. I am so tired and my muscles are so soar, I am sure it will be just fine if I skip the gym today. I have been cleaning all day, that should count for something. I can already see my weightloss in the mirror so I can take a break, no?

You get the point. I have a LOT of excuses. They are never ending. Being aware of my rationalizing is simply excuses, I have been good at ignoring the urges to eat what I should not eat or not go to the gym and I have been cognizant of choosing what I need to choose and not what I want to choose.

Need vs want. That is a good call out for weightloss. I NEED to loose weight and I WANT to loose weight (most of the time) but the want is more wavering than the need. Which is how, I know what to choose when I am debating with myself. I, always, have to choose the need and not what I want. If I chose what I want rather than the need, I would sit with a tub of ice cream this very moment.

It is, also, that time of the month where you just want to eat everything in site and you simply feel like crap no matter what. Yes, if you are a woman, you know what I am talking about. My period has come along and cravings become 10 fold around this time.

This is the time, I am asking for your help. Your help to motivate me and check up on my and make sure I have gone to the gym and that I have been calculating my calories. I promise to be honest and open about my experience if you keep at it with me.

At the moment I am cooking my lunch for the week. A great way to stay out of the fridge and not eating food. It helps me stay organized for the week and it makes it easier to count my calories to have my food prepped for the week. It, also, saves time so I have time and energy to go to the gym during the week.

The menu for the week is Mexican inspired wraps with low fat ground meet, low fat refried black beans and coarse tomato salsa. I, also, bought a watermelon as my lunch dessert. I should be all set with a roughly 550 calorie lunch. Once I am done cooking, I am off to the gym. Anyone want to join me?




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Week 6: Moving Chaos


Week 6, I have to apologize for my absence. In the beginning of June (right after my last post) we were told that our lease was up and it was time to move out. If you are a friend who are or have lived in New York you know the challenge of finding an apartment here in New York so everything was set in to finding an apartment and thus, my blog suffered.

But I am back! Not much lighter but considering the circumstances I am just happy that I did not gain. I went down to 239.4lb (108.59kg) which was a loss of .6lb (0.3kg). It was a time of eating out and stressing. First with finding a place and then having to move and live among moving boxes for the first week.

After 2 weeks of intense searching we found the perfect apartment and I am living without a roommate (I do not consider my husband my roommate 😉 ) for the first time in almost 8 year. It is a miracle! Never thought that was going to happen. Apartments here in New York are expensive and often small if you do not look in the right neighborhood. We were lucky enough to find a rent stabilized apartment in our favorite neighborhood and we only had to move 3 blocks away. Yay! It is still quite an increase from what we used to pay but we thought why not? We can afford it now and we have lived with roommates for a long time. My husband has lived with roommates even longer than me (coming up on 10 years). It was time for a change.

So here we are after packing and moving and spending a few days looking for extra furniture and unpacking. You do not really realize how much crap you have until you move and we have agreed that nothing gets put away unless we have both gone through it as we need to get rid of stuff. There are boxes that has not been opened the past 10 years so who knows that is in them. I dread the day we get to those boxes. It is going to be all Yankee and ex-girlfriend memorabilia. Just found a pillow case with “Mike, I love you! – Name of ex-girlfriend. Eak! Well suffice to say.. said pillow case is no longer with us.

Here are a few pictures of the chaos that is our home at the moment:


The kitchen is the most sorted room so far. We picked up a kitchen cart yesterday which is not in the picture But it will be located be the window you can see on the left side.


Our new entry way. With a tall closet and our buffet table (currently holding all of my empty bags). Should be nice once everything is set up so in a couple of month you will see the final result. I hope!


Our living room. Some has been set up but as you can see it is mostly holding all of the stuff that we actually have to go through. Mind you we have already gone through roughly 10 boxes worth of stuff and we have thrown out 4 box, 3 boxes to give away and we have kept 3 boxes. I like how we are headed with this sorting.

My challenge now is to find days where I can go to the gym and still have time to cook, unpack and so forth. I do have long work days so time can be challenging. Especially, when I insist on at least 7 hours of sleep. But I hope with summer Fridays (every other Friday I get off at work) that I can eventually make a dent in all this stuff.

I must admit. I have not had the great start to my weightloss that I thought I would have but at least it is a weight off my shoulders finally having my own place and I now have a chance to fulfill my need for nesting. I am female after all…



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